Weekend Dads: staying close between visits

Solo Dad Tribe

Sep 23

2 min read

Weekend Dads series: for dads whose children live mainly with their mum and spend weekends or part of the week with you. If you are raising your children full time, see our Stage by Stage guides.

Twelve days is a long time in a child's life. Staying part of their world between weekends keeps the relationship growing, rather than restarting each time you see them.

What is going on

Children can feel a gap between visits, especially younger ones who do not yet understand time well. Regular, predictable contact in between helps them feel you are still there. Older children and teenagers may want less contact, but still value knowing you are interested.

How it shows up

The first few hours of each visit feeling like getting to know each other again.
Your child not mentioning things that matter to them, because you were not there when they happened.
Missed school events, matches or performances.
Calls that feel forced or one word answers on the phone.
Feeling out of the loop on school and health.

What to do

Agree a regular, short midweek call or video call with their mum, at a time that suits the children's routine.
Keep calls light and short. Ask specific questions: “How did the football go?”
Try shared activities at a distance, such as reading the same book, playing an online game together or sending photos.
Ask the school to include you on newsletters and reports where you have the right to receive them.
Go to school events, matches and parents' evenings when you can, and say in advance so your child can look forward to it.
With teenagers, follow their lead. A funny message can mean more than a call they do not want to take.

Making your time count

Small, regular contact beats occasional big gestures. A two minute call every Wednesday tells your child they are on your mind every week, not just every other weekend.

When to get extra help

If contact between visits is being blocked or has become a source of conflict, mediation or legal advice can help agree arrangements that work for the children.

This post offers general guidance and signposting, not professional or legal advice. If you are worried about your child's safety or wellbeing, speak to a health professional, and seek legal advice for questions about contact arrangements.