Weekend Dads: Sunday night and the empty house

Weekend Dads series: for dads whose children live mainly with their mum and spend weekends or part of the week with you. If you are raising your children full time, see our Stage by Stage guides.

You drop the children back, drive home and open the door to silence. For many weekend dads, Sunday night is the hardest part of the week, and it is rarely talked about.

What is going on

Going from full on parenting to an empty house in a matter of minutes is a real shock to the system. Feelings of loss, guilt, loneliness or anger are common, especially in the early months after separation or when contact time feels too short. Looking after yourself is not selfish. It is what lets you turn up as the dad you want to be next time.

How it shows up

• Low mood, restlessness or tearfulness after drop off.

• Leaving their room untouched, or avoiding it altogether.

• Drinking more, working late or scrolling to fill the evening.

• Guilt that you are not doing enough, or anger about the arrangements.

• Dreading Sunday from Friday onwards.

What to do

• Plan your Sunday evening in advance: a call with a friend, the gym, a film, something that is yours.

• Tidy their room and get it ready for next time. It can turn the ending into a beginning.

• Keep a short note of the weekend's best moments. It is a good record for you, and something to talk about next time.

• Stay connected to other dads and friends. Isolation makes everything feel heavier.

• Watch your drinking and sleep on Sunday nights in particular.

• Give yourself credit. You showed up, and that matters.

Making your time count

The way you feel on Sunday night is a sign of how much your children mean to you. You do not have to hide it, but you do need somewhere to put it that is not on them.

When to get extra help

If low mood lasts, affects your work or sleep, or you feel hopeless, speak to your doctor. Dads' support groups and men's mental health charities can also help, and talking to someone who has been there can make a real difference.

This post offers general guidance and signposting, not professional or legal advice. If you are worried about your child's safety or wellbeing, speak to a health professional, and seek legal advice for questions about contact arrangements.